The human being reproduces in exactly the same way as other mammals on this planet. Basically, there’s nothing new about that with human beings. 

We all look for a partner subconsciously, with whom we’ll have the most chances for our descendants who will then continue our kinship. In between we court and conquer. The ultimate goal is the same as with other species: reproduction, procreation. However, the human embellishes it and in no way thinks on this animalistic, instinctive level. However, the next time you are at the bar you can ask a cute young lady: “Hey baby, do you want to have offspring with me?”

Both animal and human bodies work on the basis of chemistry. Only that animal processes are controlled merely by instinct. When a spark flies and we get the feeling that we’ve met the right partner, our levels of dopamine, oxytocin and other hormones of happiness and love increase. This seemingly connects us with the partner, and as a result we become dependent on one another. Hormones rise when in her or his presence and intoxicate us – like a drug. All this is due to reproduction. But the concentration of hormones falls after a couple of years, maybe to a really low level. And then we start looking at the partner through different (real?) eyes. Then we also see bad features which we hadn’t seen before. Are you wondering now why so many couples break up after a couple of years?

Let us go on. What’s an ideal man a woman wishes for? She wants a man who is above all self-confident. This is probably by far the most important characteristic. A man who wants adventures, enjoys sex to a rational extent and gives her the feeling of safety. Appearance and money are, in principle, not important, however they present an advantage each in their own way. More than money, it’s desired for the man to be independent and to know how to make her smile. Women think much more emotionally. They put more emphasis on inwardness, men’s personalities.

Men, on the other hand, are much more visual creatures. We see the outward appearance much more. We think less emotionally and more logically and we analyse more. This is thanks to history, where the women looked after the children in a cave or by the fire, while the men were out hunting for food. All this required different thought processes.

Despite our differences, both sexes want trust, intimacy and above all a connection to one another.

A huge problem in relationships is the excessive attachment to the partner and possessiveness. The moment we attach and become dependent on a partner is the moment the relationship starts to fall apart. The moment we get the feeling that the partner means everything to us and we couldn’t live without him or her is the moment that the relationship starts to be destroyed. Out of the attachment then arise jealousy, restrictions and a whole spectrum of negative feelings. The thing gets out of control.

So, the idea is not to get attached to the partner. But here we quickly come to the conclusion, why should we get attached to somebody at all, when we don’t need this person and we’re enough for ourselves?

Here lies the real reason for love: because people complement one another. Partners are similar enough in terms of character and just different enough to form together more than one would be by him- or herself. Since they aren’t completely the same, they don’t get tired of one another. They encourage each other in certain deficiencies and grow spiritually and materially together.

The conclusion? Start thinking and observing beyond the limit of the vortex of feelings and infatuation. It isn’t always necessary for everything our body communicates to us to be right. The body always wants fast results. Therefore, turn on your intellect. Everything is possible if you want it to be. Where there’s a goal, a path can be found, too.

May 2016

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