Self-confidence can vastly contribute to the way we look at life and deal with everyday situations. Each situation can either take a part of our self-confidence away or consolidate us. 

Nothing is permanent. It’s up to us alone how we respond to situations.

Therefore, let us endeavour for personal development and work “on ourselves”. Be aware. Change your life philosophy. Take every occurrence as a new experience to always learn something new from it. Let every experience make us better, stronger and above all more self-confident. It’s important to never take events and occurrences personally. They should be taken as if they were happening to somebody else. It’s easier to view these events objectively although these bad things are happening directly to us.

Our self-confidence may be so damaged already that we’re not capable of basic communication with our peers or co-workers, let alone of making an appearance in front of a group of people. The best practice in these cases is to take one step at a time. Certain things can leave us unconfident and others can make us feel fulfilled. That’s why it’s important to have as many of those positive things in the initial phase as possible. Just to get a good feeling. They don’t have to be big events; they may be quite simple, such as a kind, confident greeting to a cashier at a shop. However, if we want such events to fulfil us, we have to stick to the point in such moments. A greeting without a look into the eye, and with your thoughts wandering about tomorrow, won’t help your self-confidence very much.

More important than the events themselves is thus presence or awareness in individual situations. In the present moment. Even if someone may say something bad, ugly or insulting to us, let’s not allow our self-confidence to be influenced by that. This is that other person’s problem, not ours. Even these kinds of situations can be turned to our advantage. Offensive words from other people’s mouths mustn’t have any kind of influence on us. Surely, we know what our mothers used to say to us: I might as well be talking to the wall! Use this in such unpleasant situations. Even more, smile at that person. What a great feeling!

Turn every situation to your advantage. From day to day, you build your self-confidence by taking small steps. You’ll learn that no one is able to play with you or your feelings any longer. Neither your boss nor your partner. Nobody will bring down your self-confidence. This will certainly not happen immediately, so: Start with little steps.

Don’t look for self-confidence by searching for attention or confirmation. This is a dead-end street. Not even in good grades, new phones or sports cars. It makes a huge difference to buy a car for “your soul” or hobby or to raise your self-confidence. Or to dress yourself in beautiful clothes which make you more confident. And what then, when you take those clothes off? Do you “take off” your confidence as well? Rather focus on your body.

Body posture affects self-confidence and vice-versa; that’s why your posture should be upright. Control yourself! Avoid slouching your shoulders and staring at the ground. Your head should be raised. All things together should appear natural. We aren’t trying to convince anybody that we are self-confident. We do this for ourselves, have you forgotten?

At your next job interview, open your posture. Don’t stare contracted at your phone, where you get smaller and crawl into your shell. Spread your arms, open up. Observe the environment. Not because of others, but mainly because of yourself as this has a major influence on your confidence. It’s easy for you to control that. Observe yourself!

In the end: don’t forget to smile. Be grateful. For everything. Move and become active. Try to meditate or go out for a walk in nature. Be kind to other people and all living things. By being kind and doing good deeds, we expect no payment but we’ll always be repaid – with self-confidence.

P.S.: People who make their dreams come true are more confident. Interesting, isn’t it?

May 2016

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